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Things to Avoid #3
Lemon. The colour of LIES.
That’s right, folks. Lemons are a dangerous fruit.
Why? Because.
- Lemons burn. Ever felt the acid wash of lemon juice on a fresh cut? Yeah. Deadly.
- Lemons are yellow, a colour associated with LIES. Popular belief says yellow is a happy colour, when in fact, it’s ORANGE. Not lemon yellow.
- According to Billy Mays, whose word may as well be that of JESUS, oranges have more cleaning power than anything else in the world. Whoever told you lemons are a good cleaner, LIED.
- They taste like crap. 0.008% of the population claims to enjoy the taste, but that percent are lying, fictional, and dangerous. Know someone like this personally? Attack.
- The word LIES has 3 of the letters that you must avoid at all costs. Therefore, since lies are associated with the Devil, so are Lemons.
- Lemons are useless. Nobody actually knows why they were invented, nor of any practical uses whatsoever. Eliminate them from your life immediately.
- Pirates ate lemons to ward off scurvy. PIRATES. Who lies more than PIRATES? The Devil, that’s who. Coincidence? I think not.
There you have it. The World’s Most Deceitful Fruit*. 
Stay Safe, Stay Alive,
Frog.
*According to Guinness Book of World Records.
Categories: Important Stuff
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The Authors
Meet Toad and Frog
The Wolf Farm Blog 
1. Lemons burn from the citric acid. Many other fruits contain high concentrations of citric acid, including ORANGES and limes. Lemons don’t burn, citric acid does.
2. According to Wikipedia, which is actually 100% correct and properly sourced, yellow means happiness and joy.
3. Billy Mays is no longer with us. I’d appreciate if you didn’t use him in your sarcastic blog.
4. Have you ever used lemon juice in cooking? If you can answer no, then this point is legitimate. If you cannot answer no, well then…
5. This sentence didn’t quite make sense. I assume you were trying to say that the word Lemon contains 3 letters that are found in the word “Lies.” Well first, you can’t pluralize a word to get the extra association for “S” – further, “Wolf Farm” contains 3 letters found in the word “awful” — according to your logic, AVOID AT ALL COSTS!
6. The lemon tree is one of the oldest cultivated fruit plants originated from India. Are you going to mess with a country of over 1.14 billion people?
7. Pirates ate lemons to avoid getting Scurvy. Leave them alone
I tried to squeeze a lemon and I got a bruised eye. AVOID AT ALL COSTS 😦
But what about lemon baths?! Were you just trying to get your readers to bathe in evil earlier?!?